food / cooking-fails

I asked the fire extinguisher for recipe tips

I baked bread that doubled as self‑defense

I broiled the top and terrified the middle

I caramelized patience and burned the rest

I cooked pasta until it remembered kindergarten

I cut onions and started a heartfelt monologue

I flipped a pancake that landed in a new timezone

I followed the recipe until it begged for mercy

I garnished with regret and fresh parsley

I learned takeout menus have comfort sections

I made soup with a strong personality

I measured by vibes and learned about consequences

I mistook sugar for salt and performed a candy experiment

I plated a masterpiece and ate cereal

I preheated the oven to ‘adventure’

I seasoned confidently and invented a new mineral

I served family style because nothing matched

I set off the smoke alarm and called it ‘applause’

I set the table and ordered pizza with dignity

I used every pan like a percussion section